A Healer's Journal

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

*These entries are taken from my personal journal. Comments are welcome. I share them here so that all may learn from them.*

24 Dec 2005

I got to talking to a good friend of mine, Ellen, about everything that has happened recently in my life, the major loss of direction and lack of purpose. She suggested that we take a journey to the astral plane to ask my spirit guides about it.

I travelled to my safe place, which has been describes as a shaded grassy meadow with a small waterfall. Once there I met my spirit guides for the first time. One was a female fairy, whose name I discovered to be Sapphire, the other a white male pather (the color was inditiguishable at first), whose name is Damien.
The fairy gave me a gift, one that I felt would either be needed now, but definitely later. I'm not entirely what it was, but it was emotional in nature. If I took a guess, it would be confidence.

Ellen was there with me, and helped me to understand what my guides were saying, as all i was getting was garbled messages. I asked Damien what my purpose was in life, and he in turn led me into a cave behind the waterfall. the interior of the cave was dark at first, and Ellen drew her paladin sword to provide light. As soon as she did so, I noticed that the walls of the cave were glowing, and I could see images.

Images of children in some kind of school setting. They were calling to me, not by my given name, but by my Jedi name of Callista, they were saying for me to teach the ways of the healer. In the same place there was a book that was glowing. It was a journal of some kind, related to healing. I'm not sure if it was mine or someone elses...

I admitted to being slightly confused by this, as I had just spent $40,000 dollars on a graphic design degree, which is in no way related to being a healer. It seems that said degree will provide me income and a way to support myself as I pursue further training in the healing arts. And from seeing the children in some kind of school setting, Ellen surmised that that meant at some point I was to set up my own clinic or work with other healers.

Although I was unsure at first wether the journal I found in the cave was mine, it could only have been mine. This I take as a sign to mean that I should start a healing journal. I have been documenting my experiences with reiki as they happen, so I have much information. It has been suggested that I purchase a good hard bound book, and not reuse one that was used for another purpose previously. It's sole purpose is to be a journal of healing.

So it appears that I will be quite busy for a while to come, with getting settled as a designer, and establishing myself as a healer. But in light of the vision, the whole situation with City Year now makes perfect sense. Serving in City Year will allow me to gain valuable teaching and mentoring experience.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

02 Jan 2006

I wrote this last night following my meditations:

Oh Lord,
You are the Protector
of us all

May Your words
and Your will
guide my footsteps

May Your voice
be a compass
in times of uncertainty

Your presence
a light unto my soul
and a lamp unto my Path

May Your Spirit
wash away fear
and give me certainty

To learn Your will
and to follow the Path
Which is placed before me.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

09 Jan 2006

My path right now follows that of the healer. And as I have discovered, being a healer is not easy. But the important thing is to make sure that you are all set and taken care of in your own life before you help others. Otherwise it bites you in the Ass.

I have noticed many things over the past few weeks. That those of you who I have known for these past years walk with me, lending me strength, picking me up when I fall, and yes, sometimes even whacking me over the head when I need it.

I have progressed on my path as a healer in many ways, both personally and for others. I have overcome many issues that hindered my own development, and in turn, I have begun to help others more. I find that people make their way to me when my services are needed, or when I need help. The Force truly works in mysterious ways.

*bows*

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

23 Jan 2006

**An excerpt from my paper journal - Jan. 23, 2006**

It has been said that affirmation and needed things come to those who follow the path that God has set for them. This cannot be anymore true for me than it was today.

It was somewhat tense while we were celebrating the birthday of my sisters and I. my dad had the guts to bring uop the subject of jobs, in the middle of all this. I became somewhat detached from the situation. Though his statements and their timing angered me greatly, I did not react outwardly, I simply let it pass. As both mark Faulkner and Manna have said that going with the flow of things is essential. Bad things happen when you fight the natural flow.

Today, Erik J. took me to meet an angel; specifically the Archangel Raphael. He began by taking me to a part of the astral plane that I have never seen before. There was this huge cathedral there, with outer doors that were twice as tall as I am. Upon entering, we found ourselves walking down a red-carpeted hall, culminating in a circle of pillars, and a second set of doors. These were wood and glass with frosted patterns on the glass.

These doors are the portal to the higher astral plane; the realm of air, where angels reside. We found ourselves in a room with six doors the second on the left was the one I was drawn to. We entered, and found ourselves surrounded by clounds and sunshine.

I saw Raphael appraoching me, but he paused, waiting for my permission to come closer. He has brown hair and blue eyes, and is very tall. he come closer, and stepped close until he stood in front of me. I bowed respectfully, and then we embraced. he whispered in my ear that I am pursuing the right path, and then we separated. Erik and I bowed, and thanked him, then we departed.

*************

Later, after lunch out, I returned home upset over some comments my dadhad made about jobs. Erik had me gather all the negative emotions and give them to him, which he then immediately dispersed into the earth.

Once again on the topic of how God provides that which you need to pursue your chosen path. I have encountered many during my time studying and learning Reiki who have helped me and given the determination to continue. Also, I have found that those books which would help me the most have found their way to me. I have received a copy of Essential Reiki by Diane Stien, and I happened to mention this while talking to Manna last night a few days previously, I had asked her to send me a copy of the reiki II manual, but she says that Diane Stein's book is a manual in itself, so I am fine. That book was a birthday gift from Nabledan...and it could not have dome at a better time.

*************

My skill with reiki and my energy level have both increased dramatically over the last few weeks. When I first began healing last June, my hands were only slightly warm, and now it feels like I am holding a hot coal in each hand. This meens that my energy has expanded rapidly, and my crown chakra is fully open - which is the sign of a Reiki Master. I admit to not being really surprised, for I had already noticed the energy increase. But I was still in shock for a few minutes after Manna confirmed it.

Talk about a birthday present! It is one I pretty much gave myself. I attuned myself to that level without even realizing it. She tells me that I am one of the most diligent and dedicated reiki healers that she knows. I practice every chance I get to on others, and if that fails, I do self-treatments or distance healing for people not physically present where I am. I am also becoming a lot more aware of other people, and it is easier to scan them and pinpoint the problems they are experiencing.

Manna is very proud of me, I persisted in the training, even through some of the most difficult times in my life. Duringthe final term of college, I was able to make friends with similiar interests , amost whom I could practice freely. I did so. it is possible to do a self-attunement in Reiki, as did Dr. Usui, its founder. It is rare, but very possible. This was done entirely on my own, without the use of the symbols. Because of this, they are superfluous to my methods. I have used them on occasion, but I can work just as well without them.

She has also offered to attune me to the master level at the Gathering this summer, and certify me. That is such an honor. She has helped me so much along this path, as have Erik J., Moonshadow, and many others.

********
***portion left out for personal reasons***

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

23 Feb 2006

woke up in a lot of pain...my back tends to seize up randomly. And there was no conceivable cause, as I have been sleeping on my mattress for the past couple of nights. Anyway, they made me get up and go into town job hunting, even given the amount of pain I was in. I was NOT happy, and walking did not help, like they said it would, in fact, it only made my back get tighter *cries*

We didnt get home until 8 pm because my parents had an appointment that they didn't tell us about until the night before. I had bought some feng shui candle (have to be careful when and how long I use them because my dad is very sensitive. Anyway, I have been feeling very lost and disconnected, so I used the Earth candle in my meditations last night, and it helped greatly. I also summoned my guardian and a few angels, reqquesting healing (I was still in a considerable amount of pain at that point - at about 11 pm)

I fell asleep rather quickly, which is a blessing. I haven't slept well recently at all. I drifted into this very odd dream. I found myself on this mountain, held there against my will, along with others. I don't know what we were there for. I managed to escape along with a couple of others, but the got caught again, I was closely pursued the entire time, and almost caught again twice. It was really strange to me because the people chasing me were from my youth group.

I managed to get away from them, not an easy thing mind you...I scambled away from them, and held onto trees and such as I made my way down the mountain. I was basically free-climbing my way down. This in itself is odd, because I have a fear of heights, and I was climbing without any safety gear. I mdae it down, but free-climbing like that was scary as hell. I got to friends, and then the dream ended.

I woke up with the scent of the candle lingering on my hands - I had blown it out after the meditation.

EDIT: Just remembered I woke at 4:40 AM, before the rest of the family was up. Couldn't figure out why, so I just rolled over and slept till 8ish.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

07 March 2006

Hm, I did wake up in a bit of pain this morning, but it wasn't too bad, so I didn't take anything. Got an email from [info]manna_azad. She is off of college for spring bresk right now, and was wanting me to call her. Guess she's a bit lonely

We talked for about an hour and a half total, catching up on things. After about an hour, she had me lay down and she did a distance attunement for Reiki II. That was really neat, i've had distance healing done on me before, but never a reiki attunement over distance. Much like what happened at the Gathering, I got so relaxed, I was almost sleeping. I felt a tingle starin in my hands, and then it spread over my body, and down my arms, ending at my hands. My hands got tingly, and then very warm.

Afterwards, I got all jittery. My energy level was so high that I was shaking like I was cold, but I wasn't cold. I was wiggling nd fidgeting like a 2-year old. It was a very odd feeling, but a good sign. I had to ground at least 5 times today. It will take a day or two for my energy to settle, so life should be interesting for the next few days. I'm heading off to bed, hoping I can actually sleep tonight.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

numerology - can't remember where I did this....

13 Mar 2006

Name Analysis: Cailin Anne Gerrans
Expression: 11

The Expression number shows us who we truly are, what we came into this life already knowing. This is where we feel most comfortable and how we automatically act. We attract people and situations to us that require our Expression so that they can further evolve. In this way we play the role of teacher. Naturally we are attracted to occupations that we resonate to, so the Expression number can be a strong factor in our choice of a career as well. Our Expression is the vehicle, with all its virtues and vices, that drives us along the path of our Destiny. It is the essence of our identity.

You are endowed with a high vibrational energy that may be expressed through inspirational, teaching, preaching, acting, art or invention. You have access to prophetic wisdom and your positive attitude is a transformational force in other people's lives. Fame and notoriety is very likely at some point in your life, as your kind of energy gets noticed! Much will be required of you in life when you have a master number vibration, because much will be given.
Soul Urge: 4

The Soul Urge number has also been called Heart's Desire and Spiritual Urge. It is our secret, innermost longing. Our dream, our motivation, the fuel that energizes our journey. The Soul Urge number reveals what we secretly strive to be or accomplish. Some have said that this number tells us what we have been in previous lifetimes, the accumulated growth of our soul.

Practical and well organized, you desire security above all else. You are loyal and it is important to you that your work provides security for others. You take life very seriously and others know they can rely on you. You desire to build your home, your family and your livelihood on a solid foundation based on hard work and common sense.
Persona: 7

The Persona number describes the way we appear to the outside world, the first impression people have of us. We may not even be aware of how we are perceived by others because we are so often focused on our inner world, and many times the inner does not match the outer. Persona gives us a peek at some hidden talents we have. The talents that we use to get along in the world and in some instances, protect us from it. It is likened to a bag of tools (jewels) that we carry with us along the way.

There is an air of mystery and secrecy about you. You are poised and sophisticated, and prefer to dress in a clean, well-groomed and understated way. You seem unapproachable to others because of your introspective and analytical temperament. You are the philosophical loner, the probing seeker, and only those of like-mind really understand.
Natal Analysis: January 23, 1984
Personal Year: 5

The 5 vibration brings a desire for freedom of movement, speech, and thought. Freedom to follow wherever the 5 senses lead. Travel, adventure, education, and communication are likely interests at this time. Changes are constant and the freedom to move with these changes is very important. Love affairs, sex, indulgences of every kind are a part of this vibration. This is the time to explore and investigate. You are accumulating knowledge and experience for the rest of your journey.
Personal Month: 8

This is your month for progress, and money! There are many opportunities for advancement now and if you use them wisely, the dividends will multiply. Be careful with spending. Cash checks. Exercise your power and influence. Be benevolent.
Personal Day: 3

Sing, dance, make people laugh! Wear yellow or orange. Today you radiate and warm like the sun. Smile and bless us all!
Destiny: 1

The Destiny number describes the life lessons that we have come here to learn. It reveals to us the path we must take, and the role we must play to fulfill our mission. Often our choice of career is based on this vibration, and if not, then it will manifest through avocational pursuits. We may attract people and experiences into our lives that mirror the traits of this number for us, so that we may develop into our highest potential. We don't always welcome our life lessons, so it is a possibility that we may even feel an aversion to the characteristics of our Destiny number in other people, and we may ourselves act the opposite. In spite of the many ways we may choose to react to this force within us, we have been gifted with all of the talents and energy needed to fulfill our Destiny.

You are a pioneer. Independent, original and strong willed you have all of the tools of leadership and self-mastery. You must learn to use your courage, creativity and unique individuality to steadfastly make your dreams come true. Inventor, originator, initiator your key word is discover.
Cycles

The destiny is divided into 3 great cycles, each governing us for specific durations throughout our life. The Seed cycle begins at birth and colors our experiences through childhood and adolescence. During the year nearest our 28th birthday, we move into the Fruit cycle which remains throughout the middle part of our life until the year nearest our 56th birthday, and the Harvest cycle carries on from there. Taken all together, the cycles show us our particular path that will lead to the fulfillment of our destiny.
Seed: 1

When 1 is the seed cycle it is more difficult, as the child is surrounded by other people guiding their life, and the inner desire for independence, freedom and self-motivation can lead to conflicts with authority or withdrawal.
Fruit: 5

Freedom, change and restlessness keeps you spinning through this cycle. Opportunities should be explored and stagnation avoided. Many journeys and experiences are likely, and you may feel as though you have lived 100 lives in this one. It may be hard to find an occupation or career that will allow the free movement you require. There is likely to be much travel, if only in your mind, and romances will many, although they all probably seem to have a just a few of the traits you're looking for.
Harvest: 22

This cycle could find you the head or spokes person of a huge or international organization. Many times it's a spiritual organization, however it could just as well be an environmental or political one so long as it influences humanity in a positive and lasting way. There is an urge to build things now, that will outlive yourself, and that will continue to affect the world and it's people. Often fame can be an outcome of this cycle.
Pinnacles

The four pinnacles reveal the high spots or heights of attainment that we are likely to encounter as we move along the path of our life. The 1st pinnacle lasts from birth to around age 28. The 2nd pinnacle lasts for 9 years after that. the 3rd pinnacle lasts 9 more years, and the 4th pinnacle carries on through the rest of our life. The peak of the pinnacle is reached during the next 1 personal year. Pinnacles are like sudden inheritances from a benevolent aunt, they can transform the prevailing energies completely and suddenly. It is useful to look ahead and prepare for our pinnacles so that we can maximize their gifts to us and shape them into the most positive manifestation.
First Pinnacle: 6

A time for giving, nurturing and taking responsibility for others. The 6 pinnacle brings in domestic vibrations and a marriage may begin or improve during this time.
Second Pinnacle: 9

9 vibrations are encouraging you to tie up loose ends, and have a garage sale of the mind, body, and spirit. You are preparing, and making room for a whole new phase of life at the end of this pinnacle period. It is a time of thanksgiving, and many of your goals may now be realized.
Third Pinnacle: 6

Family and community harmony are where your energies have the best effect now. Relationships can improve, or even begin during this period. You have an eye for the aesthetic, which could prove beneficial for re-decorating, landscaping or collecting art.
Fourth Pinnacle: 5

This time of your life could find you dashing off on an unexpected voyage of adventure. It will be important to remain flexible and willing for change could occur any moment now. Retirement will be more like childhood "could" have been.
Challenges

The three challenges show us the major influences demanding our attention during specific sections of our lifetime. The 1st challenge influences the years from birth to age 28. The 2nd challenge takes over from age 28 to 52, and the third affects us our whole life. Challenges shape our attitudes and can affect our health. These vibrations that challenge us, cause either an exaggeration of the associated qualities or a lack of them, both of which are extremes which need to be brought into balance.
First Challenge: 4

4 challenge children are usually given a lot of duties and disciplined into schedules and organization to the point that the creative impulse is quieted to a whisper. As teenagers four's are the one's who have the next ten years of their life planned; what profession, which college etc... They have their beliefs and values down pat and could show you the file they have them written in. Fun and creative expression are the balancing agents for four, which are found in the three and the five.
Second Challenge: 1

1's challenge is about independence and initiation in spite of any opposition. Like all challenges, balance is to be found and for this challenge the balance is in asserting their will while also considering the will of everyone else involved, not by sacrificing but by cooperating. The balance can be found in the 9 and the 2. A view of the big picture, humanity and all, coupled with a sensitive intuition. In this way the 1 can accomplish their aims with the assistance of all concerned.
Third Challenge: 3

The 3 is the challenge of expression. It is telling us to stop standing in the corner and to get out in the limelight. Dance, sing, paint, write, act, laugh and shower our gifts of creative inspiration on all the people around us. Those with the 3 challenge are usually shy or unsure of their talents and afraid of criticism. Personal appearance is also an issue with this challenge, as insecurity about one's appearance can lead to too much or too little emphasis upon it. A balance needs to be found between extravagance and mousiness, and it helps to remember that other people are much too concerned about themselves to be judging our looks or talents very seriously.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

Divine Intervention

17 March 2006

God truly does have a sense of humor. He helps us deal with our problems when we have reached the place in our journey where we can accept the changes and He doesn't always work in obvious ways. I have reached a place in my life where I can process many of the recent events. It has been a rough journey for me, but the end is in sight. As part of my healer's training, I read many books on alternative healing methods. I find it amusing and somewhat ironic that I would drawn to a book on angelic healing. I was at the library today and read it there....

How else would I have found my way to such a book? He truly does guide us in the way we should go. I am deeply grateful to have found such a book at a time such as this. I pray that God and my guardian angel(s) will continue to do so. This book, "Angelic Healing" is something I find myself to have been searching for for quite some time. God truly does have a plan for my life that involves healing on a personal and spiritual level for myself and others as well. This gift from God through His messengers of healing is truly a blessing for myself and others.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

19 March 2006

Today my friend Alexi gave me two readings. The first was an 11-card reading. I shuffled the cards, and held the question in my mind: Give me guidance on my financial situation so I may become independent and follow my path in life. I shuffled the cards, and she spread them out. Using my left hand, I selected the cards, following the sensations I was getting through my hands. My palm would get cold over the wrong cards and warm over the correct ones. I had traced the reiki power symbol on my left palm before I began. Selecting the 11 cards, She set them up. What follows is a transcript of the 11-card reading.

1. Prince of Swords: Ingenuity - Turn ideas into reality, work on self-esteem or frustration will cause you trouble.
2. 10 of Wands: What surrounds You: Oppression - Requires more of you than you can give. Do what you must, not what you want; conserve energy.
3. The Magician [Major Arcana]: Blocks: Willfulness - Refusing needed help, inability to use power to make things happen the way you want them to. Depending on magic when logic and hard work is needed. Refusing to see magic in life is equally counterproductive.
4. Ace of Wands: Foundation: Initiation - Crucial vitality to initiate a new project. Make the first move. Focus your energy and break through barriers and illusions. Don't second-guess yourself, pass the test.
5. Prince of Hearts: Past: Charm - In the past, being charming to others caused you to learn lessons which ncan be applied now.
6. 9 of Pentacles: What Crowns You: Abundance - It would be good to be independent. Visualize yourself in the arms of Mother Nature, seeing her give you your share of health and wealth. Know that you deserve all that she gives you. Vow to regain your connection with her.
7. The Chariot [Major Arcana]: Future: Determination - You will soon focus single-mindedly on attaining an important life goal. Harness willpower, self-control, and self-confidence and you will win. Determination will make itself known. Transportation will be important.
8. 10 of Hearts: Persona: Success - Present youself as someone who is aware of they are successful and respected. Act as if you have attained a life goal and found your spiritual family. Be kind and gracious to avoid others envy.
9. King of Pentacles: How Others See You: Pragmatic - You seem to have it all together. Interact well with all you meet. You may be too earthy for some, but all know you as a valuable friend and a feirce enemy.
10. King of Hearts: Hopes and Fears: Consideration - You hope you can be considerate counselor, able to deal with strong emotions creatively, but fear you cannot. You fear the effects of jealousy. You fear or fear for an advisor healer or artist.
11. 3 of Wands: Outcome: Opportunity - Become aware of one great opportunity, it may not come in the form you expect. If you are alert, open-minded, and willing to cooperate, you will get your wish. The time to meet a great playmate and maybe even your soulmate may be here.

I find this to be really ironic that this reading came out the way it did. It is right on the money. I find it particularly interesting considering some of the events of yesterday. One of my friends is a Reiki I, and I had asked her to work on my back, it hurt si bad that it was sore to the touch. While she was doing that, I dug a little deeper, and found the cause to be a major block in my second chakra, that it tied in with a lot of my current problems, and the cause of my self-esteem issues. I am unsure exactly what happened, but the combination of both our ability and the sincere intent to remove the block worked.

All of the sudden, it felt like it exploded and dissapated. Energy rushed out my shushumna (the energy channel along which the chakras reside) in both directions. M head and feet got really tingly, and were tingling for a while. I felt like I had after I had been worked on at the gathering. Lightheaded, like I had an energy hangover. I was walking around like I was drunk hehe. Manna said that my energy was through the roof, I was glowing like I was radioactive last night, and my aura was golden-white, which is a healing color. When the block dissolved, the pain vanished.

Now I asked for another reading, this time the qustion was: What do I need to work on mentally, physically, and spiriually? I asked for this reading because of some issues that I have been having with faith and my own spirituality. What follows is th contents of that reading.

1. 7 of Pentacles: Mental: Frustration - You have to live with feelings of frustration, impotence, and ingratitude, but fear you cannot. focus on the present . Do what you can with what you have and be grateful. You may fear or fear for a frustrating person.
2. Death: Physical: Transformation - present yourself as an agent of change. Show that you know that we mustlet go to make way for the new when the old has outlived its time. Seek closure; Show you are ready to close the deal or kill it. it's time to "'clean house".
3. Princess of Wands: Spiritual: Impulsiveness - it would be good to be spontaneous and enthusiastic without being impulsive or fickle. Visualize yourself at a party to promote yourself and your cause. Socializing, but keeping you goal in mind as you do so.

Wow, a lot happened this weekend, and I made some really good progrees on many things. I still have some work to do, but I have taken a big step. I have Alexi and Manna and Erik J. to thank for that, as well as Thes Nazud. They have helped immensely during this difficult time in my life, and I thank them deeply for it.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

26 March 2006

Ok, had a really interesting discussion with Manna last night. Tuesday this past week, she had asked Moonshadow or I to do some work on her will centers, which are the Heart, Throat, and Third Eye chakras. I had said I would do some work on them on the evening of the 21st (Tuesday). She posted a very interesting entry the following day. She said she could feel someone working on her chakras late on the evening of the 21st, around 11 pm EST. That was in fact, the time I went to bed that night. I had been thinking about doing some distance work on her that day, but was in town, so I didn't have time until that night.

She said that she could feel the blockages being removed form the chakras, and it left her crying. That is a side effect that can occur when a major block is removed from a chakra. It depends on the particular chakra, and the issue causing the blockage. Some other side effects from a clearing can be light-headedness, or a feeling of being hung over (I experienced the latter both at the gathering and last weekend).

It is quite apparent now, as the result of my work on [info]manna_azad, that I do some of my most powerful and effective healing work when I am sleeping. If I think about doing something like that before I go to sleep, my subconscious takes over after I'm asleep. I don't remember many details of these night time healing sessions...I'll have to work on that.

I have also found that if I do active distance healing work during the day (which is very frequent these days), I don't have to devote all of my attention to it in order for it to be effective. For instance, yesterday, I was working on Ryan McCoole from the FA, his left shoulder was hurting. I focused initially, but then found that I could still work on him while doing other things:)
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

20 April 2006

Hm, well as some of you know, last night I went over to the Elliot Hospital Wellness Center. Even though it was a one-time thing, the Coordinator, Robert Willan (a Reiki Master)said that is was perfectly fine, and he would love to have an extra pair of hands.

I got there at about 6:30 (my mom went off shopping, she's not into the whole Reiki thing), and hung around for a few until he got there. He seemed excited to finally meet me in person. We had been talking over the phone for the past couple of weeks.

There was a group of about 5-6 healers, and we either paired off, or worked singly witn a client. I paired off with Deb, and we worked together on one of the Center's staff. It was a wonderful experience for me, as I had never done a group healing on someone We spent a half hour doing reiki on the woman (I never learned her name), and when we were done, she thanked both of us and gave us a big hug It was awesome.

Then I worked on Randy, with Bev, Robert's wife. Randy was having some hip and knee troubles. I grounded him as I did with the other woman, then moved to his head and did some work there. Then I moved to work on other areas of the body as I was guided to. I found myself guided to place my hands on his left side right below his ribs, around the area of the spleen and large intestine (thank you Inari).

I then felt prompted to move on to the next client, Deb and Mark were working on her. I spent the last few minutes of the session (as well as a little extra) down at the woman's feet. I had my thumbs in the middle of the bottom of her feet (kidney meridian, I think).

I then did the tops of her feet and her ankles. When Be and Mark got down near me, I felt impressed to place one of my hands on top of theirs. With mark, my hand just got really warm. With Deb, my hand got warm, and got a prickly feeling, like it had fallen asleep

When I left, Bev and Deb hugged me, and Robert did too. That surprised me a bit. It was a wonderful feeling of love and acceptance, even though they barely knew me, and would probably never see me again.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

12 May 2006

ok, I've been in UT for a couple of weeks. It has taken some getting used to. The energy here is different, it feels lighter, cleaner. I had an opportunity to go to Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho with some friends of mine this past weekend until wednesday.

Tuesday was neat. I was out in the campground meditating, and felt a rush of energy up from the earth. I later found out that Mother Earth had attuned me to her healing energy It is a beautiful pale blue energy, and has a very grounding and calming effect.
_________________
Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

[Icarus]

originally posted by Callista***

Who am I?

A timid, quiet soul
hiding in the shadows
a tiger stalking something
no one else knows
seeking, searching, always yearning
looking for something new.

What am I running from?
Why do I fear the things
that are tearing me apart?
What holds me back from a new start -
the inner child hiding in fear
backing away from the unknown?

The dark abyss that is my mind
is suddenly filled with light
chattering voices battle in my head
some filling me with joy;
others with dread

How do I know the way to go?
Where are the ones that guide me,
why don't they appear?
What is one to do when they find
that everything they've been living is a lie?

What is it that holds me back,
turning me in circles,
leading me on the same path,
only to end up where I began?

Why should I live my life
according to something
which I no longer believe?
Ancient things are taught
as thought they are true
yet hold no meaning
when looked at anew.

Why do so many live in fear
ignorant of all the things
they could learn
simply because they believe
when they are told that it is “evil”?

Why can't I hear the voice of my mind,
drowned out by fear?
How can I overcome that which is
as much a part of me as my name;
it's been with me so long?

A search for truth and the freedom to question
is a right of each of us.
To be without that is to forever live
in a state of fear, following simply because
its all we know, and because
we have nothing to compare to.

Searching for truth
is what leads me to
question, to wonder
what is true and what is not.
Why am I punished for looking,
Searching for truth?
I am punished by those I love the most.

© Cailin Gerrans 11.08.2006
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Callista Gseran - Reiki Healer

"Let the light take you and not the darkness for the darkness will lie and cheat to swallow your soul."

[Callista]

I'm still in the process of working on my own Reiki Manuals. It really is an ongoing project.

[Callista]

3 Feb 2007

Hmmmm. I came to some interesting and rather scary realizations last night. I've been looking for work since I walked out of my previous job. I discovered last night that I've had a mental block up regarding jobs. I'm scared to go out and approach people about jobs. I did a lot of thinking on that, and I've come to realize that a lot of that has to do with how I was raised and treated as a child, and the various things I was told as a child. The Faith that I was raised in always looked at having money as being evil, because that money was God's. But why does God need money?? And when I first started exploring my abilities, they banned anything to do with Harry Potter or SW or even Lord of the Rings from the house, saying it was evil, and that magic of any kind was evil. I was reading a chapter in the book that Jade and I have been working on. This chapter covered reprogramming - specifically changing the way you think from the acquired beliefs that others put on us to ones that would benefit and help me. I think it has helped, as well as a kick in the but form one or two people. I spent most of today looking up and contacting local spas and alternative clinics, seeing if they are in need of another Reiki practitioner. Anyway, my brain just turned off, so I'll close this now.