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Post by Callista on Feb 5, 2007 20:10:12 GMT -5
5 Feb 2007
*sigh* I don't know what to do anymore with the job thing. I've put my resume up on careerbuilder and monster. I've called and emailed so many place, and all I get is thanks, but no thanks. All I'm getting is sales stuff. I've never done sales in my life, so I don't have the first clue about it. I don't know, is it people really wanting my skills, or are they just looking for cheap labor?? I'm stuck (again). I need a job and a place to live. crap, I even considered going home, but that would be the worst thing for me. My parents are so close-minded about everything, and they never have and never will understand what it is I'm trying to do with my life. Am I meant to wander the planet for the rest of my life? I just want to find a decent job, where I can have a place and actually pay my bills, and maybe.....just maybe start working on becoming more of the Jedi I profess to be.
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Icarus
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Post by Icarus on Feb 6, 2007 1:33:55 GMT -5
Callista, Since I think of you as a sister, I'm going to play the big sister part here. Hope you don't mind, and I mean absolutely no disrespect. However... Are the places just looking for cheap labor? Yes. That is what companies want. They need the cheapest labor that they can get because it gives them more money for their own pockets. You have to consider what skills you have, and then put those skills to use in a way that is not only beneficial for you, but also those around you. Those skills may just be cleaning houses, or they could be designing graphic art pages for a large corporation. You are an excellent Reiki healer, but that isn't going to pay the bills right now. Sometimes, we just have to suck up our pride and our "go it our own way" attitudes for the best outcome. You have a good and loving heart, and that's a good thing, and a necessary thing for a Jedi. But, part of being a Jedi, as well as an adult, is being able to stand on your own two feet. You cannot accomplish this by travelling all over the country, housing with different people, and searching for something that can never be found outside because the answer is within you. If you are in such a desperate situation, why not go back home? Yes, parents can be really hard to deal with. Yes, they can be totally contrary to the lifestyle that you want. But, look at it this way, if you lived with your folks, you could always work two jobs, or double shifts, sleep the other shift and never even see them. You would save up twice as much money in half the time, and could be out on your own before you knew it. Jedi have to function in the real world too, and part of that means that you have to work hard, and that sometimes means working in a place that you don't like. Still, it enables a person, even a Jedi, to be able to make their own decisions, choose their own path, and help others that are less fortunate than themselves. Try to look at the situation apart from yourself. Look at the people that are affected by the decisions that you make everyday. How are their lives impacted? What is the best choice that you could make for them? It's all in your power to make this work. Nothing happens without a reason. You are in this place to learn an important lesson. In this case, it seems to serve you in two ways. You get a lesson in adulthood, as well as a lesson of the Jedi. Just something to think about.
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Post by Callista on Feb 7, 2007 12:04:22 GMT -5
Ok, had in interesting chat with Kena and JBar this morning. I've been getting frustrated with the whole job thing. Kena reminded me of something that made me want to smack myself silly. How our life plays out depends solely on what we focus on and our point of view on any given situation. I've been focusing a lot on the negative, and inadvertantly projecting it to the universe. I really need to focus on the positive. Why? Because whatever we focus on is what the universe thinks we want, so it manifests whatever that is, even if its negative. So, now I have to give myself a complete mental overhaul. Instead of looking at all the bad things that are happening and focusing on those, I need to look for the good things that I do have, no matter how small they may be. It can be done, and yes, it is hard. But if I really want to manifest my desires, I have to start looking at them in a positive light. Even if I don't believe it at first, if I keep telling myself that I will find a job. It will happen. Oy, I feel like I got kicked in the head.....but in a good way
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Post by Callista on Feb 14, 2007 21:24:50 GMT -5
Well, I now have 4 days until I head back to NH and cold and snow. In some respects, I do want to go home, but there are a lot of other reasons why I am not looking forward to it. I have yet again to try and pack my life into boxes and bags for another cross-country trip :S *sigh* Just wanted to let you all know I may not be around tons after the 20th.
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Post by Callista on Feb 22, 2007 9:58:36 GMT -5
Ok, I'm here. And it IS COLD *shivers* I want the TX heat back, dang it. I miss all of you TX people. Anyway, I'm keeping warm as much as possible, and looking for work. Was given a few suggestions by Jade, so I'm checking those out. As far as the Fam goes, they are glad to see me home. As far as my sis goes, she got on my case the same night I got home about finding work. WTF?! I haven't slept much if at all during the trip, so obviously I'd be a bit cross. I asked her to lay off because it was none of her concern and she went off on me. I'm not an idiot. I know I need a job. I'm not expecting my parents to pay my bills for me because I know they can't. So why she even brought it up, I have no clue. I know its bad for me to let her under my skin, and I'm doing my best to just shrug it off. Why can't she mind her own dang business and quit telling me how to do things?!
</rant>
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Icarus
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Post by Icarus on Feb 22, 2007 10:05:21 GMT -5
answer: Sisters do that. Sisters suck. Sisters hate you and love you at the same time.
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Post by Callista on Feb 22, 2007 10:53:12 GMT -5
Right now it seems that she just hates me. Almost like i'm invading her territory - yet she keeps saying she wants to move out and hasn't.
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Post by sparrowhawk on Feb 23, 2007 5:26:26 GMT -5
Despite being totally blocked by you everywhere, best of luck.
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Post by Callista on Mar 4, 2007 16:44:34 GMT -5
Rhetorical Question: Why is it that some people can't respect another's privacy?
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Post by Callista on Mar 8, 2007 12:55:00 GMT -5
Hmm. it's interesting to note that when two people separate, one pines after the other even more than before. I noticed this with my sister's ex bf, and with some people that I've moved apart from as well. It's just an interesting observation. As far as job stuff goes, I've been checking into a few options, and applying whereever I can. Also, I've gotten in touch with the local Voc Rehab office, ans GSIL, both entities which assist peopel with disabilities in finding work and transportation and the like. As I've told Hachelen, as far as LA goes, we'll see what the Force has in mind. I'm doing my best not to stress either way over it, because if I worry too much about NOT going, thats what will happen, so I content myself with imagining myself there among fellow Jedi
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Post by Adona Mara on Mar 8, 2007 13:49:07 GMT -5
Well, as utterly disappointing as this option might be, there's still the New York gathering
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Post by Callista on Mar 8, 2007 20:34:05 GMT -5
*hugs* thank Adona Please forgive my spelling/grammar in the last entry LOL
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Post by Callista on Mar 9, 2007 10:31:09 GMT -5
Jedi CommunityI find it somewhat frightening the things that are going down in the Jedi Community. A few months ago, Opie took over JEDI from Relan, as Relan had just had another 'faith crisis' and decided Jedi was no longer his 'thing'. I'm not happy with the direction that Opie has taken JEDI, now renamed JO from the past. The Academy was 'given notice' in the same manner a landlord would give notice to an unruly tenant. It's not that easy to move an entire academy and all the incumbent material. And ezboard's changeover presented another challenge. The format THEY were switching to was not supportive to the format the Academy had been using for years. So, we found Moodle. Moodle works wonderfully I guess the only problems we have right now in that area are login failures from people forgetting passwords, and a couple modules not archiving like they should (though I think the latter was remedied). Another issue we've been dealing with intermittently is the fact that the Moodle account is under the name of one faculty member. This faculty member tends to disappear for long periods of time. Granted, off-line life takes precedence, but she didn't even tell us until after the fact. She let a handful of classes slide.... I still don't think we have grades for them.....Anyway, I think the disaster has been averted on that count too The academy seems to be doing well, if functioning with less than the normal complement of students. As far as the FA goes, that's been a long time in coming as far as I'm concerned. Some of you may not be familiar with what my vague reference just touched on..... I've been a member there since November of 2000. it seems like ancient history now, LOL. When I first came, it seemed a place of genuine learning. Now, that couldn't be farther from the truth in my opinion. I can remember when the council focused as a more cohesive unit. Now, we are down to a handful of active members, regardless of how many people are actually on the roster. We don't even have enough people to show up for Knighthood Trials anymore, and that is just pathetic. One of our own, which was recently confirmed as a Light Jedi Master, took it upon himself to 'defend' the Light Aspect from attacks by one individual. All this resulted in was more fighting and backstabbing. The boards are drowning in it. The FA is no longer a place of peace and learning, but one filled with hate and hurtful words. This person's initial attack has spread to include several members of the Light Council including myself. Though this individual didn't attack me in the open. He chose instead to go at me in chat. This has gotten so far out of control, that all discussion of the matter on the boards does is to fuel more attacks. Even when threads are removed due the content being defammatory to others, people scream about the injustice of it. I just don't understand anymore. We've had two people step down from their positions, one divesting himself entirely of his connection with the LJC and the FA in public forums. That certainly didn't help the Light Aspect in the eyes of the FA at large, I think. We are already on a very shaky footing as far as much of the FA is concerned..... I'm so close to just walking away. The situation is not helping me on my journey at all. I don't need so much animosity from my Jedi brethren when I already have so much going on in my own life. I need to be able to focus on those things that I need to do, and all I see at the FA is fighting, hatred, and anger. I'm not the only one who has or is considering throwing in the towel. I just need to go where I am led. *bows*
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Icarus
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Post by Icarus on Mar 9, 2007 11:29:13 GMT -5
Actually, what you really need to remember is that most of these people online are not Jedi. It is so easy to say that you believe in something and that you would do something in a given situation, but really doing it takes something that most people online in these "jedi" academies don't have. It takes guts. It takes honor. It takes initative. It takes courage and determination. It takes having a real footing in the real world. Anyone that claims to be a master, I dismiss outright. What I find really funny is the twenty year old kid that claims that they are a master. Granted, it's possible, but highly doubtful.
Online isn't important. We can get so tangled up in this mess, and for what purpose? We should be offline doing something to make the world a better place. There's nothing wrong with interacting online with other people, sharing ideas, etc, but when it comes to forming cliques and calling people master, that's silly. Most of these people that have been knighted couldn't even pass a general "abc order" test, let alone a "knighthood test."
I'm quite sick of it all myself, in case you didn't notice. If you really like the online life, then do something constructive. You have talents in the graphic arts, do something like set up your own healing site. Something like that. Playing with the kids is fine and all, but eventually adults have to have the grown-up time.
Sorry, I'll quit before I say something I shouldn't.
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Post by Callista on Mar 9, 2007 14:21:11 GMT -5
I was mostly just expressing frustration really. And it's ok. Say what you feel. I'm sick and tired of those people that play at being jedi, and then when it comes down to it, they aren't what they say they are, That's what i meant to say by way of this
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