Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 15:42:21 GMT -5
Originally posted by Icarus
Reaction vs. Response
After thinking on this, meditating on this, and thinking on this some more, it became obvious to me that many people may already understand the difference between reaction and response. I, however, have been a bit fuzzy on the matter. I have always tried to act with a “response” whenever provoked, or otherwise triggered by any event, person, or situation. However, upon looking more deeply into this, I realize that I have acted more with reaction than with response.
I tend to feel things more than think about them, and this is something that has been a constant struggle for me in this lifetime. I feel more than I would like to at times. This is good and bad. I can feel what others are feeling from time to time, which gives me a more thorough understanding of their personalities. It also tends to have a tendency of my getting attached to other people far too easily. Then, in a given situation where one of those people is “attacked” (perceived or actual), I tend to swoop in and seek to “correct” the attacker. I have come to understand that this is unnecessary. That is one such example of my reactions.
As a parent, I will say that I do respond more than react. Somehow, it feels more appropriate. Responses have a more lasting effect and teach more than “correct.” This should be desired in all situations. When my children misbehave, I take a deep breath, feel out the situation, think of the ramifications of what I am about to say or do, and then modify that to achieve the best possible scenario. This is a response. Unemotional attentiveness is the phrase that comes to mind. Maybe that is not quite right, but I feel that it works, so I shall leave it there.
And why should I not behave this way with every individual? After all, the agape form of love is my goal. I guess I never truly understood it until now. I do have love for everyone, but I was missing that little link there. I’m not saying that every person should be treated as a child, but I do not treat my children as petulant brats. I try to treat them with respect and understanding in all situations, but I have forgotten that, at times, when it comes to other people.
So, I have reacted because there was an emotional attachment involved in a given situation… This emotional attachment does not necessarily have to be with another person. It could have simply been something that someone else said that I felt “threatened” my beliefs, the things I hold of great importance, or my moral code. But, upon looking back at those situations, it becomes apparent that there was no threat to begin with. It was my own ego coming into play. I couldn’t accept that it was nothing more than a person’s opinion. It wouldn’t alter my reality in the least, but I couldn’t let it go… I sometimes fear that one misspoken word can lead to a false advertisement that could label a group, a person, or a belief system to be taken the wrong way by others. Why should I even care? It is not up to me to educate the masses. It is not in my power to save the world, or even an individual. This is probably the most obvious thing that I have ever said, but, it is only each individual’s responsibility to act for themselves.
So, a reaction does not take into consideration the factors at play, the emotional and intellectual levels of an individual, or the possible ulterior motives of an individual provoking a situation. A response does. It detaches from all of the emotional entanglements that are inherent in the ego. It looks at the broader picture, and sees reality for what it truly is-and not just how an individual may think that it is. A response is an act of deliberate focus to justify an action, or renounce an action, but without the fire and brimstone that a reaction seems to bring with it. There is no malice or hurtful intent in a response. There is only peace and wisdom, although that wisdom may be lacking in its current state. Still, a response equates to acting at the level of understanding that we currently have. A reaction equates to acting at the level that we currently feel. Understanding is a universal concept. Feeling is a personal preference or condition.
And so, I shall endeavor to correct this behavior in myself, and come to an even better understanding of these two actions. I would appreciate any input that you all can provide.
Oh, and I read an article on this today. These guidelines were listed at the bottom:
1. Response is a gentle act showered on anyone at any given point.
2. Remember……Reactions should never be adverse.
3. Yelling through Reactions on anyone is quite easy, but to console the situation is indeed a tough task.
4. You need to just inculcate this thinking in your attitude that you will always respond first and react later.
5. A Reaction should always be preceded by a Response!
Reaction vs. Response
After thinking on this, meditating on this, and thinking on this some more, it became obvious to me that many people may already understand the difference between reaction and response. I, however, have been a bit fuzzy on the matter. I have always tried to act with a “response” whenever provoked, or otherwise triggered by any event, person, or situation. However, upon looking more deeply into this, I realize that I have acted more with reaction than with response.
I tend to feel things more than think about them, and this is something that has been a constant struggle for me in this lifetime. I feel more than I would like to at times. This is good and bad. I can feel what others are feeling from time to time, which gives me a more thorough understanding of their personalities. It also tends to have a tendency of my getting attached to other people far too easily. Then, in a given situation where one of those people is “attacked” (perceived or actual), I tend to swoop in and seek to “correct” the attacker. I have come to understand that this is unnecessary. That is one such example of my reactions.
As a parent, I will say that I do respond more than react. Somehow, it feels more appropriate. Responses have a more lasting effect and teach more than “correct.” This should be desired in all situations. When my children misbehave, I take a deep breath, feel out the situation, think of the ramifications of what I am about to say or do, and then modify that to achieve the best possible scenario. This is a response. Unemotional attentiveness is the phrase that comes to mind. Maybe that is not quite right, but I feel that it works, so I shall leave it there.
And why should I not behave this way with every individual? After all, the agape form of love is my goal. I guess I never truly understood it until now. I do have love for everyone, but I was missing that little link there. I’m not saying that every person should be treated as a child, but I do not treat my children as petulant brats. I try to treat them with respect and understanding in all situations, but I have forgotten that, at times, when it comes to other people.
So, I have reacted because there was an emotional attachment involved in a given situation… This emotional attachment does not necessarily have to be with another person. It could have simply been something that someone else said that I felt “threatened” my beliefs, the things I hold of great importance, or my moral code. But, upon looking back at those situations, it becomes apparent that there was no threat to begin with. It was my own ego coming into play. I couldn’t accept that it was nothing more than a person’s opinion. It wouldn’t alter my reality in the least, but I couldn’t let it go… I sometimes fear that one misspoken word can lead to a false advertisement that could label a group, a person, or a belief system to be taken the wrong way by others. Why should I even care? It is not up to me to educate the masses. It is not in my power to save the world, or even an individual. This is probably the most obvious thing that I have ever said, but, it is only each individual’s responsibility to act for themselves.
So, a reaction does not take into consideration the factors at play, the emotional and intellectual levels of an individual, or the possible ulterior motives of an individual provoking a situation. A response does. It detaches from all of the emotional entanglements that are inherent in the ego. It looks at the broader picture, and sees reality for what it truly is-and not just how an individual may think that it is. A response is an act of deliberate focus to justify an action, or renounce an action, but without the fire and brimstone that a reaction seems to bring with it. There is no malice or hurtful intent in a response. There is only peace and wisdom, although that wisdom may be lacking in its current state. Still, a response equates to acting at the level of understanding that we currently have. A reaction equates to acting at the level that we currently feel. Understanding is a universal concept. Feeling is a personal preference or condition.
And so, I shall endeavor to correct this behavior in myself, and come to an even better understanding of these two actions. I would appreciate any input that you all can provide.
Oh, and I read an article on this today. These guidelines were listed at the bottom:
1. Response is a gentle act showered on anyone at any given point.
2. Remember……Reactions should never be adverse.
3. Yelling through Reactions on anyone is quite easy, but to console the situation is indeed a tough task.
4. You need to just inculcate this thinking in your attitude that you will always respond first and react later.
5. A Reaction should always be preceded by a Response!