|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:37:47 GMT -5
Originally posted by Icarus
I've got a question for you all, but first, I must vent...
My son came home with an assignment to create a "wooden spoon pointer" for his kindergarten class. It was assigned to him and I was supposed to help him with the project. "Help" is the keyword here...
Well, I did help him with it. I went to the store, bought the spoon, then asked him what he wanted the spoon to look like. He told me and I cut out certain things that he could use to decorate his spoon. Everything was fine and he was happy with his spoon man.
When I was visiting his classroom on Friday, I looked at all of the different spoon pointers that the children had made. 99% of the spoons were very elaborate, decorated in such a way that no child could have done it, and obviously reflected "mommy's" idea of a spoon pointer. I was astonished. How could these people just do the work for the kids?
But, when I was talking with someone about this, they told me that it was just part of the parenting job. Your child is assigned something and you do it.
Uh, no...
Do you feel that this is the way it should be?
It's as if these parents are so worried about their childrens' projects not being perfect and better than everyone else's that they insist on doing it for their children. Now, maybe this is a symptom of our society; this need to be first and the best seems to permeate everything in our culture. But, don't these people realize that they are stealing from their children? Do they not remember that they have already been to school and have finished with their projects and that now, it is someone else's turn to do these things?
What do you all think? Is it appropriate for parents to do their children's projects for them? If so, then why?
Why do you think that people do act this way?
Is there a way to fix this?
Is anything even broken, or am I just thinking that this is wrong for no reason?
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:39:10 GMT -5
Originally posted by Adona Mara
Quote:
Well, Duh. And then, when you're kid gets older, breaks the law and gets assigned to the state pen, you do that assignment, too. What? It doesn't work that way? Gee, what a shame
No, once again, you are right and they are morons. These projects are homework, and they're intended to be fun for the student. Have you noticed on TV, when they want to portray an obnoxious father, it's the one that gets his kid a train set and then "helps" him with it -- to the point where the kid wanders off and reads a book?
Your kid may not have the best looking project in the class (and if I were the teacher, I would grade it as obviously being done by the person to whom it was assigned -- whereas the others would be penalized for not doing their own work ) but he can at least be proud of the fact that he did it himself. And my guess is for someone his age, it probably looks pretty darned good.
(Or, as in their thinking, their kids get to do those projects when their own kids are in school LOL)
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:41:02 GMT -5
Originally posted by Tom W
It was always like that at my school, my mum always made me do my own work, I remember making a tissue box guitar and someone else having a quitar made from wood which must have needed some equipment a child wouldn't be allowed to use. Anyway it paid off in the long run even if I didn't understand it at the time, I am able to do my own work for coursework unlike the others and as a result get better grades.
How do we solve this? Ensure your children do their own work and that they understand why.
Tom W
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:42:07 GMT -5
Originally posted by Empress Palpatine
When I was a kid, I made my own stuff. Mother did not intervene. Perhaps in the 1970's it was the process not the product that was emphasized, but then it was a different era. I can remember all the stuff I built (doll houses out of cardboard, cardboard and tin foil robots, wooden spears, bamboo forts with palm fron roofs...). When I was a kid, there was very few toys and props that had to do with T.V. and movies...which meant making your own Star Trek phazer and Lost in Space bubble headed robots.
Just make sure tere a lot of goodies to make things with...cardboard, aluminum foil, phone wire, masking tape or other tape, plastic, string, paper mache' stuff, paints, markers......etc. Let imagination do the rest.
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:45:22 GMT -5
Originally posted by Icarus
tomw2005 wrote:
Tom,
That is exactly what this was like. I almost felt bad for my son because his spoon "man" was a silly little guy wearing a t-shirt and had spikey hair and his face was all crooked and mixed up. You know, it looked like a five-year-old made it. He wouldn't know that the moms made the other ones and that is why it made me so mad. He probably wondered why he didn't make his so straight and sparkly.
Empress Palpatine wrote: Just make sure tere a lot of goodies to make things with...cardboard, aluminum foil, phone wire, masking tape or other tape, plastic, string, paper mache' stuff, paints, markers......etc. Let imagination do the rest.
Yes, of course. Our house is filled with all kinds of junk that the kids can use to make their projects. They seem to enjoy it. I get tired of the messes, but if that's the least that I have to worry about when they are expanding their minds, I'll take that.
I'm glad to hear that you guys didn't have parents that intervened in every project. I didn't either. In fact, my mother never knew about most of my projects. I remember (in elementary school) we had a "talent show" and we had to participate. I didn't know what to do and was stumped for ideas. My mother waited until the very last moment (the night before the show) and asked what I was doing. I told her I didn't know what to do. She then told me that I could lip sync to that really old song "Sad Movies" and act it out. I did this, and she made me a microphone for it. She helped me when I asked for it on this project, but only to the point of giving me ideas and helping out when I didn't know how to make something.
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:46:29 GMT -5
Originally posted by Tom W
I think you've hit the nail on the head there icarus.
Tom W
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:47:34 GMT -5
Originally posted by Jinsei
There's a limit to what is actually helping your child do something and actually doing it for them. If the child was there and explaining to their parents what they wanted it to look it, and the parents did the actual work for them, then I see it as the parent still helping and the child doing their part of the job. Anyone who disagrees with that needs to look at how life is in the real world and that supervisors still achieve a job even when they're just telling the employee (helper) how to do it.
Now, if the kid brings home an assignment and says, "I need help with this." and the parents proceed to let the kid go and watch tv while they sit there and use their own imaginations on what it should look like, then the kid hasn't had any part in the outcome of the project and therefore cheated in having someone else do the work entirely.
Of course, the more beneficial ways to help your child do the task is to put yourself in the supervisory position and offer suggestions as to how it could be done and assist when necessary. What's the real world benefit of this? It will prepare your child for the reality that the kids whose parents did all of the work for them will grow up to be spoiled brats and won't do the work when they're adults and someone will have to have the self-will to get their hands dirty and do the job... while ensuring they have the confidence to say, "Yes! I did that and take full credit for it, even if it looks funky!"
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:49:03 GMT -5
Originally posted by Thea
I used to work with a woman who regularly moaned about her kids' homework - because she was the one who sat down and did it. Then when it came time to move onto another school (when both kids were about 11) she was totally amazed when they failed the entrance exams...... Do parents not realise that the child learns nothing if you 'do' rather than 'help' ? A parent who does the homework rather than explains the bits the kid doesn't understand is actually hindering the child, not helping. The kid's homework - whatver it is - may look great but the child has not learned something. Isn't this common sense?
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:50:03 GMT -5
Originally posted by Adona Mara
I've found that one of the most uncommon qualities among people these days is "common sense."
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:51:24 GMT -5
Originally posted by Tom W
Whereas sueing the hell out of people for no good reason is common.
Tom W
P.S. The problem is they usually win.
|
|
|
Post by Adona Mara on Feb 7, 2007 14:53:34 GMT -5
Originally posted by Icarus
tomw2005 wrote:
Unfortunately, we live in a "modern" society where people think that they deserve to have more than they do. If their child is hurt on your property, then they have the right to sue you and get re-imbursed for thier child's pain... let's hope they didn't actually take the kid to the hospital!
Things were different when I was growing up, if you were at a friend's house and got hurt, usually because you'd done something stupid at your own expense, then you could count on getting no pity from your parents when you got home. Although, a good smack in the head and iodine or alcohol to clean out the wounds could usually be expected.
|
|